Light a Candle for Hope by Rev. Teresa Stuefloten, M. Div. 11/30/2025

Today is the first Sunday of Advent and we light a candle for hope. As we go through the Advent season we have the hope of the birth of the Christ, not just in Christ Jesus so long ago, but in each of our hearts right now in this present time.

What is hope?

Merriam-Webster says hope is “to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true”

It is “desire accompanied by expectation of obtaining what is desired or belief that it is attainable”

It is also: “expectation of fulfillment or success”

Cambridge Dictionary says hope is: "to want something to happen or to be true, and usually have a good reason to think that it might”

Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem to fulfill their obligation to be registered. Mary was very pregnant with the Christ Child, riding on a donkey. Though they did not have a reservation at a hotel, as we make sure we do today when traveling, Mary and Joseph traveled with the hope that they would find shelter when they reach Bethlehem. And they did. It was not luxurious accommodations, staying in the shelter for the animals, but they had a place where they were sheltered from the elements and Mary could birth her child in safety. They had hope. And the birth of Christ Jesus gives us hope of the Christ, the higher true consciousness, being born in each of us.

…Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 (ESV)

When we have a spiritual faith, we have a much greater chance of living with hope. We are taught that we are divinely cared for by our Creator, God, Spirit. We know we are provided with all that we need.

Isaiah 40:31 says, “… they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (ESV)

I was raised in the Lutheran Church and I raised my children in the Lutheran Church, also. When Rev Mark and I were married, on December 9, 1972, my mother’s requirement was that Mark would take adult confirmation class and become a member of the Lutheran Church. He was happy to do that, as he had a good friend growing up who was Lutheran and he went to youth activities with him at his church. So Rev Mark had a fondness for the Lutheran Church. But he always teased me that I had to spend 2 years in confirmation when I was in Jr. High and he got the crash course that was probably about a month or two!

That spiritual path and the hope it gave us came in handy when I was helping my daughter, Hannah, move her family back from Spokane, Washington to San Jose, California. We set out late in the afternoon after the moving van had left and the last of their belongings was packed into the trailer we were pulling. My twin grandsons, 2 1/2 years old at the time, were strapped into their carseats in the back seat, along with the cat in her carrier and their pet parrot in his cage. After a few hours of driving the hilly terrain, the gas tank was getting low and we were looking for a place to fill up. We were driving through an area with one small town after another, and all of the gas stations were closed. As the tank got extremely low, my daughter started taking her foot off of the gas as she crested each hill and coasting down. We started praying and we had the firm hope that God would supply us with the gas we needed before we ran completely out. We finally came to a little bit larger town that had a lit up, open gas station. As we pulled in, the light went out in the gas station and we could see the attendant inside closing up! We ran to the door, pounding and telling him that he had to let us get gas! He was closing early because it was starting to snow and he had not had any customers in hours. He did open up and pumped our gas before closing again. Our hope was fulfilled and we did get safely to a town where we could sleep for the night, carrying sleepy little boys in and sneaking the cat and the bird into the room! Our faith gave us the hope that we needed to make it through.

Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

As we are approaching the holiday season, I think of children in low-income families who are hoping for holiday gifts, Christmas gifts, Hanukkah gifts, gifts for whatever holiday they celebrate. The commercials are all over TV advertising holidays gifts. I think about how painful that must feel for a low-income parent who has trouble paying the rent and putting food on the table and there is no money left for toys.

We can contribute to the fulfillment of a child’s holiday hopes by giving money or toys to organizations that supply toys to underprivileged children for the holidays

The Salvation Army provides toys, clothes, and food to low-income families through various programs like the "Angel Tree" program. In a typical year, The Salvation Army's Angel Tree program puts new clothes and toys under the tree for 1 million children who otherwise would go without Christmas.

Toys for Tots run by the U.S. Marine Corps is one of the largest and well known national organizations that provide holiday toys for children in need. Since 1947, Toys for Tots has distributed 708 million toys to 314 million children.

Many local churches have programs to supply needy families. When we had a church building we used to decorate our Christmas tree in the sanctuary with donated socks, hats, and gloves that we delivered to a charity for those in need. The Catholic Church near me has a clothes closet for those in need.

My daughter, Hannah, is a high school history teacher at a continuation high school for teens who are having challenges. Most of them are from low income families. Hannah and a few of the other teachers keep a cabinet of snacks in their classroom that they purchase themselves for their students who have not eaten that day. Imagine being a teenager who has to come to the teacher and say, “I’m hungry. Can I get something to eat?” How can they concentrate on their studies when their stomach is growling with hunger? These kind teachers who care supply hope for hungry teenagers, who know they can come to their teacher for more than just academics.

Acts of kindness help people find hope, trust in the goodness of life, see their own strengths, and see a possibility for a better future. Hope fosters resilience, motivation, and mental well-being. Hope helps people feel capable. Hope is a powerful force!

Romans 8:24-25 (ESV) says, “Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

An article in Psychology Today, titled:

7 Habits of the Most Hopeful People

by Dan J. Tomasulo PhD., TEP, MFA, MAPP

(psychologytoday.com) details 7 characteristics of people who live with hope. I am quoting directly from the article:

“Hope is emerging as a viable scientific positive emotion worthy of direct investigation. Unique among all the positive emotions, hope requires some degree of dissonance, difficulty, negativity, or uncertainty to become ignited. If there isn’t something awry, we don’t need hope.”

“This makes naturally hopeful people interesting to study and learn from. In studying high and low-hope people for the book Learned Hopefulness, an intriguing pattern emerged about differences between the two groups concerning their thought habits. Thoughts follow patterns that have outcomes that show consistency. High hope people have sustainably better physical and mental well-being. They also tend to live a longer and happier life.”

“What we know about high-hope people compared with their low-hope counterparts is that they see and respond to the world differently. They use their thoughts to focus on what they can control. If you want to start thinking like a high-hope person, here are ways their thought habits differ.”

1. High-hope people have a positive outlook.

High-hope people strive toward a positive outlook. They see the glass as half full, not half empty. No matter what life throws at them, they endeavor to find a way to see the silver lining. This positive attitude is one of the things that allows high-hope people to be so successful in life. They don’t let the circumstance define their emotional response.

In addition to having a positive outlook, high-hope people are also creative problem solvers. When faced with a challenge, they don't give up easily. Instead, they come up with creative solutions that help them overcome obstacles in their way. In chicken-egg fashion, the positivity helps the creativity, and being creative feeds the positivity. They don't dwell on the past. Instead, they invest their creative energy in the future. They hunt for the good.

2. High-hope people are persistent.

The level of our hope can have a profound impact on our lives, so it's important to understand that high-hope people have passion and zest that funds their energy. What makes this passion viable and dynamic is that there is a degree of persistence, follow-through, and sheer grit that accompanies it. They are optimistic about their future and believe in possibilities. They see challenges as opportunities to grow and learn, rather than insurmountable obstacles.

This type of follow-through of passion and perseverance are the keys to why many high-hope people are successful. They not only bounce back from setbacks—they seem to bounce forward and keep going despite obstacles and challenges. They believe possibilities can happen when they put in the work.

3. High-hope people set goals and work toward them.

Goal setting is only as important as the action you take toward achieving your goals, and high-hope people do both. They know that without a clear goal, it's easy to get distracted and lose focus. They don't just let life happen to them—they proactively make decisions, set goals, and take action to move forward in their lives.

Whether a big dream or a small goal, high-hope people typically have something they're working toward. What’s more, they usually visualize their goals and create conditions where they set themselves up for success.

One way this gets done is through micro-goals. A micro-goal uses short time periods that set reasonable goals to be accomplished. Getting three emails out in the next 15 minutes or preparing lunch in the next 20 minutes are examples. Setting goals, taking action, and setting themselves up for success creates an upward spiral of engagement and accomplishment.

4. High-hope people are those who surround themselves with positive people.

This is one way they help to keep a positive mindset. This doesn’t mean they cannot tolerate someone’s difficulties, negativity, or struggle. But it does mean that they tend to spend more time associating with people who share an optimistic and proactive attitude. While not blocking themselves from nay-sayers or folks who have a more pessimistic viewpoint, people with high hope maintain a balance. They do not let themselves get overwhelmed by the negativity of others—or the world.

Knowing the different perspectives will allow them to cultivate a realistic plan forward. As they take in multiple, sometimes difficult, perspectives, they are compassionate. They care about others and want to help make the world a better place for everyone.

5. High-hope people focus on the present.

High-hope people tend to focus on what’s in front of them. They don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Instead, they stay focused on what's happening right now. This allows them to stay positive and take action toward their goals.

Additionally, high-hope people are always learning. They're constantly trying to improve themselves and their skills. This helps them maintain a sense of hope because they know that they can always get better, and when they are learning they must be in the present. It is, like many important elements in a hopeful person’s life, a balance. They are both content and ready to grow.

Finally, high-hope people are grateful for what they have. Gratitude keeps them appreciative and grounded in the moment. They recognize that even though they may not have everything they want, they're still lucky enough to have a lot of good in their lives.

6. High-hope people are confident.

While believing in yourself is important, highly hopeful people are able to forgive themselves as well. This is a unique combination because this type of confidence allows for not being perfect, making adjustments, and forgiving others. It also means they are willing to take reasonable risks to support their growth. Although they believe in themselves and their abilities, they are generous with their time and resources and celebrate small victories to stay engaged and motivated.

7. High-hope people are self-reflective.

Perhaps more than most, high-hope people are grateful, reflecting on the good fortune in their life. Since gratitude is always for something that has taken place, this natural process allows them to see the world through a grateful lens. Mindful of their thoughts and emotions, they also tend to be trusting and generous, believing that most people are good-hearted. Hopeful people know that failure is inevitable and it’s important to learn from those experiences and move forward with positive momentum. This is where their capacity for self-reflection is so valuable. Learning from mistakes means viewing failure as an opportunity for growth rather than a measure of one’s self-worth.

(End of quote)

One last thing I would like to address is mental health, and in particular, the prevalence of suicide in our modern culture.

Hopeful people are optimistic. They assume that everything will turn out okay. This is their mindset. They tend to see the bright side of things. Rev Mark was like this. His motto was “Positive thinking = positive results.” He always lived with hope.

People who attempt suicide feel that nothing will ever get better in their life. They do not have a sense of hope. To the contrary, they feel hopeless. They are generally suffering from major depression, or another mood disorder such as bipolar. This increases their risk of suicide 20 fold.

Statistics on young males and suicide say that men are 3-4X more likely to die of suicide than women. Use of firearms, much higher with males, is the reason, with 60.7% for males vs 35% for females. And males are much less likely to seek treatment for mental illness.

I recently watched the reunion show of Everybody Loves Raymond. All of the actors who played the parents of the various characters on the show have passed away. That was not surprising as they were older. But the one that did surprise me was Sawyer Sweeten, who played Geoffrey, one of the young twin sons. He had ended his own life when he was 19 yrs old in 2015. He was one of the actors who is gone, and I felt so sad. The cast of the show has become advocates for mental health and suicide prevention awareness.

The suicide rate is also high for the elderly. People ages 85 and older had the highest rates of suicide in 2023. A major cause is loneliness. Many live alone and may have lost loved ones, causing them grief. Loss of self-sufficiency, chronic illness, pain, cognitive impairment, and financial troubles can also be factors. They may need help in establishing a support system. They need hope.

If someone in your life talks about suicide, take it seriously. They are not just talking. You can potentially save their life by getting help for them. We don’t know what is in the minds of others, so we need to be proactive when we see signs of depression. They need hope.

For the National Suicide Hotline, in the United States you can call or text 9-8-8. The National Suicide and Crisis Prevention Lifeline provides confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States. 9-8-8 is available via call or text, and online chat.

You can find a list of international hotlines and resources on the International Association for Suicide Prevention website. isap.info

This organization has a National Suicide Prevention Day each year, as well as a yearly World Congress. They are at the forefront of research, education, and advocacy, working to create a compassionate world, free of suicide.

If anyone listening to this message is thinking of ending their life, please get help. Please call the hotline 9-8-8 or reach out to someone and say, “I need help.” Asking for help is strength. There is no shame in asking for help. You are God’s beloved child. You are Divinely loved unconditionally. There have been suicide attempts in my own family and thankfully those people are still here. If this message saves someone’s life, that will make me very happy.

So let’s reach out to the people in our life this holiday season and beyond. Make time for your loved ones. Consider visiting an elderly friend or relative. Give someone a call and say, “I love you! I care about you.” We can bring hope into the lives of others with our uplifting presence. Optimistic people have a higher quality of life than pessimistic people. So let’s give someone else a reason to be optimistic and feel hope for their future. We are one humanity, one with all others.

And now, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13 (ESV)