Honoring Our Ancestors by Rev Teresa Stuefloten, M. Div. 10/26/2025

communityofinfinitespirit
Oct 26
10 min read

This is a time of the year for Honoring Our Ancestors, All Hallows Eve on October 31st, All Saints Day on November 2nd, Dia De Los Muertos November 1st-2nd, a sacred time of honoring those significant people in our life who have made their transition to the other side of the veil.

This year is also significant for me, as my beloved husband of almost 52 years, Rev Mark Stuefloten, made his transition to the other side on October 1st, 2024 just a little over a year ago. His passing has been a deep loss for our family, and also for Community of Infinite Spirit, as he was the Assistant Minister, giving talks and sharing his wisdom every other Sunday, as well as supporting the classes and book studies. He was such a kind and caring soul, beloved Husband, Father and Grandfather, uncle, brother, friend and support to so many. I talk to him all of the time and tell him I love him and miss him. I feel his love for me and I know he is there in Spirit.

The desire to communicate with our loved ones who have transitioned to the other side is an innate part of the human experience. We want them to know that we love them. We miss having them physically present in our life. We miss being able to talk with them, hug them, laugh with them. We think of things we wish we would have asked them, or told them, and we regret that it is now too late. We seek ways to communicate our love and the important part they played in our life. Sometimes we also seek healing of the pain that was not processed before they left this earth realm.

This season is considered “a transformational portal on the wheel of life,” when ”the veil between the two worlds is open (or thinnest)”… a powerful time to communicate with our ancestors.“ (Gaia) Many cultures believe that the dead walk among us at this time. In almost every culture there is a day specially designated to honor and pay respect to the dead, generally coinciding with the harvest time when plants die down and the earth rests, a time for thanksgiving and gratitude for the people in our life.

Halloween or All Hallows Eve, literally means Holy Night or All Saints Night. In the Catholic and some other Christian traditions, All Saints Day or All Souls Day is a time to remember, honor and celebrate those who have passed on with visits to the cemetery, flowers, and candles.

Samhain (Sow-wen) Gaelic for “summer’s end,” marking the approach of the darker half of the year, is celebrated by some in Celtic regions such as Scotland, Ireland, and Wales as a time to honor the family’s ancestors & invite them into the home, while keeping harmful spirits away. Bonfires light the way. It is the source of many of our Halloween traditions.

In Mexico, Dia De Los Muertos is a joyful holiday! Families tell stories about deceased loved ones, visit the cemetery to clean their graves, offer flowers, food and candles. “…a time to honor and communicate with those who have taken their spirit walk… create family altars, and perform ceremonies with the ancestors…” Ofrendas, individualized altars for departed loved ones, include favorite foods and drinks, as well as toys for los angelitos, the departed children. The bright colors and strong scent of marigolds are thought to guide spirits in their visit to the living. (Gaia)

In Chinese culture, Zhongyuan (Chong-Yuan) Festival, Buddhists and Taoists honor their ancestors with feasts, and write messages to them on Joss paper, which is burned to send the message. A parade culminates in floating lanterns on the water to help the dead find their way back to the other world.

Chuseok, (Chu-sock) Korea’s largest national holiday, is a time to visit the cemetery, clean the graves, honor the ancestors with a symbolic bow, and a food ritual with favorite foods of the deceased, intricately arranged.

Obon, a 3-day Japanese Buddhist festival, honoring and paying respect to ancestral spirits, is a time of family reunions when the souls of the dead are said to visit the living. Paper lanterns are hung outside doorways and lit flotillas and bonfires guide the dead back home. (National Geographic)

In Nepal, “Gai Jatra, a Hindu festival, is a light-hearted celebration of death meant to help people accept death as a reality and to help ease the passing of those who have died.” Families who have lost a member in the past year lead a cow, considered sacred, or a child dressed as a cow, in a procession through the streets to help lead the deceased to the afterlife.(Bios)

Bhoot Chaturdashi (boot-cha-tur-day-shi) is celebrated in West Bengal, India as a time when 14 generations of ancestors come down to bless their family. 14 lamps are lit around the house to show them the way.

Shradha, is a Hindu festival “Fortnight of the Ancestors” when the souls of the ancestors come to bless the family, celebrated with ritual food offerings to show gratitude. There are special rituals for those who had an unexpected or violent death, and those who have very recently died.

All of these festivals and observances have in common an acknowledgement that death is not the end of life, and a desire to honor and communicate our love and respect to those who have gone before us. We honor those who were a part of our life, whether their part was joyful for us, or even though sometimes their part was painful for us. All of this is part of our earth journey of learning and growing in our ability to love unconditionally. We acknowledge that even very difficult experiences are a valuable part of our earth journey. We are Spirit having a human experience. We are Divine Expressions of the One, and we never truly die.

In truth we are one with all life, but we have forgotten due to identification with the physical body and the ego self. We have forgotten that we made a decision to incarnate in the physical body and to be in relationship with certain people for a reason. We made a plan for our growth, but we have forgotten.

When we come into this incarnation in a body we are like actors on a stage, playing a role, but we forget that it is a role. At birth we believe that we are one with our mother and one with other beings. This is the truth of us. We have to learn the falsehood of separation. In the beginning we don’t even know that we have a separate body, but soon we are putting our hand or our foot in our mouth, feeling the sensation of our sucking on our skin, observing that we can move the hand and the foot, and beginning to have a sense of a physical body separate from the physical bodies of others. We start to develop likes and dislikes that further confirm our sense of separateness. We like the sweet banana puree we are being fed, but that strained spinach we spit out, yuck! We learn to roll over, crawl, and walk, further confirming our false sense of separation. As a toddler we throw tantrums when we don’t get what we want. In childhood we make friends and experience kindness from some, hurt feelings from others. In our home, some of us experience loving parenting and some abusive parenting, resulting in either a sense of trust or mistrust in others. In teen years we rebel, identifying strongly with our own beliefs, and rejecting our parent’s beliefs. As adults our confidence or lack of confidence affects the way we relate to the physical world and our success or lack of success. What are we leaning for our spiritual growth? We have to unlearn our sense of separateness and come back to the truth that we are one with our creator, God, and one with all other beings.

Some relationships with other players in our life cause us challenges to overcome and some relationships are supportive. Why did we choose these particular souls to play a role in our Earth journey in a physical body? We may wonder why we chose this family. What did we hope to learn by taking on a body and incarnating into a particular family in a particular culture? This may seem like a mystery.

We are in reality one with the Divine, one with Divine Wisdom. Ask within that the answers be revealed to you. In the Bible, Matthew 7:7-8 says, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

If you have family trauma that needs to be healed, ask for the reason for this trauma to be revealed to you. Those who hurt you have probably been hurt themselves. Compassion can grow from understanding the trauma of your family members who have left the body and are now on the other side. Compassion can lead to forgiveness and healing the hurt. Releasing the pain and anger will allow you to know your wholeness. We are all truly perfect, whole and complete at the soul level. We are playing a role in this human life and so are all of the others in our life. Nothing that we do or that is done to us at the physical level can harm us at the soul level. When we leave the physical body behind we return to the realm of perfect love where we know our oneness with God, our Source, and our oneness with one another. We see the reasons for the temporary roles in the Earth realm.

I like this quote from Gaia about honoring our ancestors: “Ancestral work can transform the karmas of past generations, as well as work into the current and future generations for healing. … An ancestor is one who took a physical body and experienced the loves, sorrows, joys and pains of being human. They are your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents. (and I would add siblings, spouse, significant other, friends) Anyone who has taken their spirit walk. Anyone who is in your soul tribe.”…They can have great empathy, compassion, and sensitivity for what it is like to be in a personal earth journey. They can provide helpful teachings, guidance, protection, healing and forgiveness from the spirit dimension. Ancestors may also have their own continued healing work and evolution as a spirit…When someone dies they are not gone - they are present in Love. They have transitioned to the spiritual dimension and are still present with us.”

And from the Bible, “To you, O God of my ancestors, I give thanks and praise.” Daniel 2:23

We will now have a song, and during this time, I invite you to honor your departed loved ones in whatever way is meaningful to your heart and your soul: light a candle in their memory, write their name, a word, or a message to them, or speak a message to them, send them a prayer, or just sit in silence with your memories of them and listen to the song. After the song we will have a prayer treatment for honoring and healing families.

We will now listen to the song - “Here With My Family” by Christy Snow from her album, “I Sing my Love.” (Mute)

(Unmute)

I will now read a prayer treatment for healing in our families. I invite you to close your eyes and take in the prayer. It is my hope is that this ceremony will be a healing experience for you, regardless of the amount of time since your loved ones have passed from this realm.

Honoring Our Ancestors and Honoring Our Family

I acknowledge that I am a Divine Expression. I am Spirit having a human experience. I am one with Spirit. I am grateful for the precious opportunity to be in physical expression on this earth plane, to live and love, to learn and grow, to awaken to the Truth of who I truly am, Spirit in expression. I am grateful for my life.

I honor my own Spirit. I am one with Divine Spirit.

Those in my family who are currently physically present in the body in this earth realm, are Spirit having a human experience. In Truth they are Divine Expressions. I open my heart in love and gratitude for them. I honor them all.